So, I think we all have this idea in our head about what marriage will look like and how happy and fun and lovey dovey it will be, but the truth be told….it’s a crock. Marriage is not all butterflies and daisies and sunshine; it is messy and imperfect and takes true dedication and hard work all the time.
The Truth Is Marriage Means Being Selfless
From the moment you say, “I Do” you are agreeing that you will never be the center of your universe again, you will always have another person to consider. It means saying no to yourself sometimes and saying yes to your spouse and doing things you may not always want to do. It means giving 100% of yourself to someone else 100% of the time.
The Truth Is Marriage (in its own way) Is Much Like Parenthood
Like parenthood, there are no days off in a marriage, you don’t get to take vacation or sick days, you don’t get to walk away for a bit and come back when you feel like because it is a commitment and although the relationship is with another adult and not a child they still need you. I need my husband, I lean on him for support, understanding, help, guidance, protection, advice and so many other things. Like parenting, marriage can be rough sometimes and there might be times of anger or frustration but the love for each other never subsides and the need for one another does not waiver.
The Truth Is Marriage Is All About Compromise
In marriage compromise needs to be key in your relationship. No one agrees 100% of the time so it is vital that compromise is something practiced frequently and graciously. I’m not saying we should always fold for your spouse and do whatever they want all the time, but I am saying we need to meet them half way. Try, for their sake and yours, to understand where they are coming from and what their needs are then access your needs and try to find somewhere to meet in the middle. The sooner you learn how to do this the better. Compromise at first is usually over small and insignificant things like what movie to go see or what to have for dinner but eventually these compromises become bigger and many times more significant like moving to another state for a job, parenting decisions, among others and it is so important to take your spouses feelings into consideration and find a solution that works best for as a family, not an individual because the day you said “I do” is the day that you became “us” and me became “we”.
The Truth Is Marriage Is Always, Always, Always A Work In Progress
As hard as it is to admit and accept my marriage will never be perfect, it will always be flawed because there is no way that two flawed people could have a flawless marriage, but it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t strive for the impossible and work hard and work together to have a great marriage. It’s important for me to remind myself of this because I feel like it can be so easy to fall into complacency and become comfortable with where are marriage is and I don’t want that, I want a phenomenal marriage that is filled with love and happiness, but most of all with Jesus. Which brings me to my last point.
The Truth Is Marriage Is Sacrificial
This is the most important truth I could ever tell anyone because as a believer our marriage should be a reflection of Christ and His relationship with His bridegroom, the church and His ultimate sacrifice that He made for us on the cross. Christ is our perfect example and His sacrifice was so great that He bled and died for us but not before He took upon Himself the weight of the sins of the world. If Christ did that for us then why wouldn’t we show that same kind of sacrificial love to our spouse with whom we have chosen to intertwine ourselves with for life. I think that to have a good marriage, to have a Biblical marriage we must above all show our spouse sacrificial love, constantly placing their needs above yours.
The Truth Is Marriage Is Hard But Beautiful And Has The Ability To Be So Wonderful.
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Reblogged this on God’s Children Blog and commented:
Want Your Marriage to Last As Long As You Both Shall Live? Thank you, Chelsea Dent, for shareing with us the way to help that happen! ~~ Anne
Wisdom for the ages! Thank you, Chelsea. I thank God for every one of our 56 married years. We were best friends, and experienced just about everything you said! ~~ Anne Boyd, widow of Dan Boyd. Missionary, Licensed Clinical Social Worker bringing Light and Love in Transylvania and regions beyond.